WHEN A LIMITING BELIEF BAMBOOZLES YOU

Overcoming a self-limiting belief has the power to transform you - and certainly, propel your life in a positive direction. You'll go from where you are now to where you're meant to be, want to be, and have dreamed of being your entire life.

Here's a primer on how to overcome a limiting belief that's bamboozling you:

The limiting belief is a lie you internalized at some point. It is someone else's thought, rule, opinion or belief that you subconciously allowed into your cozy mind. That belief became part of your operating system and has been fueling you for a long tme.

For whatever reason (and be grateful for it), that belief is now causing you problems that you can link back to it. You feel a bit off, unbalanced, dissatisfied, reactive, unhappy, intolerant, angry, lonely, scared, etc. (you get the idea) - and this gives you big clues that something here is not yours and no longer serves you.

Be quiet and still long enough to feel into your body, hear the thoughts at war in your head, and do your best to allow what's going on to rise to the surface. I like to journal in this part of the process. It helps to sort through the noise, the feelings, thoughts and my behaviors.

Most importantly - journaling helps me see the impact that this limiting belief has had on me and hindered my life. This realization empowers me!

When I own something, become responsible for it (even though I didn't mean to invite it into my life) - I have the choice to change something about me and my circumstance.

Once I am accountable, I have choices. That's freedom!

Here's where I unpack one of my personal doozies for you:

Until my late 20s, I literally believed that if I were a size 2, I'd automatically have the life of my dreams. The whole package (a successful career, the right guy, kids, a nice lifestyle, best friends, social inclusion and invitations, membership, etc.) would arrive at my doorstep without question.

I was on autopilot, shut down, and certainly not strategizing on how to accomplish weight loss. I was high-functioning, uptight, and overweight.

My childhood and young adult dreams mirrored what I learned was THE WAY IT WILL BE according to society, culture, socializing, growing up in my area, and being a white girl in the 60s, 70s and 80s.

The challenge was that I wasn't actively doing anything to become a size 2. I believed I would never - could never - be a size 2. I'd joke that I was born bigger than that. While I laughed out loud, I was dying inside. I hated myself and did not understand what was wrong with me.

Why was I different from my girlfriends? Why couldn't I just get it and be normal?

Rather than self-nurturing, I developed self-destructive coping skills to deal with fear, anger, and anxiety. (I later learned that I had an extraordinary amount of shame... so painful).

When would I get the life of my dreams?

At 26, I stopped drinking and drugging and got into recovery (using the 12 Steps and remaining an active part of the program since 1988).

My mind cleared; my physical health was restored; and my emotions became manageable. I learned to nurture myself and built meaningful connections which helped me feel like I had a right to be there and to belong. I released heaps of toxic shame, shared every secret I had, lived by a routine and design for living that worked for me and healed every wound and trigger that came up.

I am spoiled, in the best possible way. I wake up nearly every day with a smile of my face and song in my heart. I continue doing whatever work comes up for me. I love being super clear-minded and non-reactive. No longer a victim... which brings me to this...

Here's the catch:

When you (or someone helps you) discover a limiting belief that's holding you back - you can look at it in one of two ways:

1. What's the one thing that - if it were only different - would mean you get what you want?
2. What's the one thing that - if you take the action to stop, start or change it - will transform your life?

In my first 25 years, I looked at things like it was someone's job to make things work for me. If only this would happen, then I would get that to happen. Why isn't it working...

Since then, without being perfect (wink, wink), I opt for taking intentional action. I choose to change something about myself and my circumstances, thoughts, reactions, and results.

I'm living the life I am meant to live. My purpose is clear. My passion is off-the-chart. It's effortless to be in this place instead of swimming upstream - or doing nothing (while waiting on things to change). I am grateful that I have a choice and can change myself and my circumstances.

Self-limiting beliefs bamboozle us and keep us blocked from our dream life. Think mental chaos and emotional quicksand...

I offer you hope and a way to overcome those internalized lies that block you from who and where you're meant to be. Book a call with me and let's explore whether executive coaching, business consulting, or a group coaching program is the next step for you.

Laura Easton, LMSW, ACC | Coach + Consultant