HOW TO SET YOURSELF UP FOR A GOOD MORNING!
If you struggle with dread and anxious thoughts the minute you wake up – this one’s for you.
You know when the people in your life don’t get why you said you were going to [fill in the blank] today and then you didn’t? You had the time and resources to – even a reason to. But you just didn’t.
Well, I get you – and I’m so glad you’re here because it tells me that – in the midst of struggling – you’re ready to change. That’s huge.
When negative self-talk overwhelms you, the pressure of the day ahead can feel debilitating and emotionally paralyzing.
Here’s good news! You can set yourself up for good mornings and love-yourself days!
1. Self-care goes on the calendar first.
Self-care is not just a routine or checklist. It’s being present in the routine, as you check the boxes on the list. Self-care is personal. It might include nutrition, body movement, prayer, and meditation, connecting with others, being of service, and having a nice runway as you wind down from the day. It may include laughter, conversation, deep breathing, walking outdoors, and sleeping well. You could add bubble baths, manicures, and massages though self-care is much deeper than those things. Think of self-care as loving yourself from the inside out.
SELF-CARE INCLUDES HOW YOU TALK TO + ABOUT YOU.
- Avoid saying: I need to, I have to, I can’t, I’ll never, I’m supposed to, I’d better, I should have…
- Do say: I want to, I’m excited to, I look forward to, I’m happy to, I GET to, I am blessed too, I am able to, capable of, I CAN…
2. Identify the actual situation/circumstance you’re in (not your judgment of it).
How you think about an irrefutable circumstance drives how you feel – which drives how you behave. You create your results.
Choose your results. Identify the circumstance. Choose how you think about it, how you feel – which will drive your behavior.
3. Prepare for tomorrow today by knowing what result you want.
What do you WANT to put in place now to feel the way you want to feel, think the way you want to think, behave the way you want to behave – all to create the results you want to create?
As your day comes to an end, take quiet time to look at your calendar for tomorrow.
Organize what’s on your desk, so you know what is there. Put an index card or stickie on each “stack” with the tasks to do and the due dates. Don’t complicate this step. It’s to prove to your tomorrow’s anxious self that plenty of the tasks are due in the future even though the project is current and is in progress.
If you have anxiety or ADD, you may be scoffing at me and ready to shut down this blog post. PLEASE DON’T! I do understand. And, if you’re reading still, I know you WANT to better your chances for a good day, a productive day, a day with less anxiety, a less chaotic and scary start to tomorrow…
4. Other tips that help pretty much everything…
- What you consume between work and bedtime is important. Overindulging (in anything) pretty much sabotages how you want things to go.
- Clean up your side of the street so you can ease your mind and relax your body. If your brain is on overdrive, write down what is spinning about in an attempt to let it go. Deep breathing is effective; soft music may be, too. Choose to do what it takes to relax, quiet, and calm yourself.
- Set your alarm to build in time to greet the day in the way most helpful for you. If you need time to tell your inner critic to take the day off, add that in. Carve the time for your coffee and contemplation, to pray or meditate, and read something delicious for your mind, spirit, soul and body… (This is absolutely part of a self-care routine that will affect your day!) You’re bringing self-loving thoughts on board and telling that harsh inner critic to step aside.
- Loving all parts of yourself is essential – when you ignore or stuff down a part of you, it’ll rear up and derail you… Self-care includes bringing forth the parts of you that support and help you.
- One last thing before you turn out the lights… write a short note to yourself to read as you’re reaching for the alarm in the morning. Read the “love note” (NOT your cell phone) reminding you of how you’ve already gotten ready for today – no need to rev up or panic. And no need to punish, berate, belittle yourself – EVER.
- Now, lights out and get a good night’s sleep. Be clean, have clean bedding, set the temperature to regulate your body, and have a comfortable pillow and consistent noise that helps you sleep. Research tells us to turn off technology a few hours before bedtime. I’ll add that it helps to avoid stressful news, anything scary, arguing, and holding onto resentment/anger overnight.
- If your thoughts start racing during the night, write them down. Now close your beautiful, sleepy eyes and do some deep breathing until you fall back asleep.
- Set an alarm tone or song that makes you feel good (not stressed). When it rings, calmly reach for the alarm clock and NOT your cell phone. (Yes, have a separate alarm clock that is not your smart phone.) Breathe in and out. Allow yourself to slowly wake up and KNOW that the day is already planned. And YOU planned it in a way that is DOABLE!
- First things first… today, move about slowly and tell yourself, “I trust myself. I love myself. I have planned for a doable day. There is nothing I HAVE to do. What I WANT today is to feel good about myself and my work. For that to happen, I have my morning routine in place. I choose to be calm, talk nicely to myself, breathe, and know that I have already scheduled a love-myself day.“
Once you’re on your feet, take a deep breath, stretch and say out loud how beautiful the day is (even if your inner critic is hissing at you) – know what you’re going to have for breakfast. A bit of fuel for your gorgeous body, mind, spirit, and soul. Feed, hydrate, fuel, love, care, and trust.
YOU’VE GOT THIS (AND YOU KNOW IT’S NOT ABOUT PERFECTION).
At the end of your day, high-five yourself for exactly what you did today (NOT what you didn’t do). Then spend time preparing for tomorrow (making sure your self-care is first, always). Progress, not perfection.
My greatest gift to you – in addition to a free planning session with me – is the truth. You can choose to change the results in your life.
Observe your own behavior and thoughts in slow motion – check out what’s driving you, and how you’re fueling your body, mind, spirit, and soul. Admit to yourself whether you could use some work in this area. Starting your day is something you have lots of choice about. You deserve to have a good morning!
Doing this work takes courage – and it works!
Dive in, brave women.
It helps to have a likable, trustworthy, certified life coach to help you tap into your confidence, self-love, self-esteem, and healthy self-soothing behaviors. I invite you to book a call with me. It’s an hour that costs you nothing and offers emotional freedom and desired results!
BRING YOUR HURTS, FEARS, SHAME, AND REGRETS – AND DON’T FORGET YOUR GOALS AND HEART’S DESIRE!
Join the movement – you deserve it.
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