HOW TO RECOGNIZE YOUR SELF-CARE CYCLE

Choosing the unhealthier of two choices comes with a lot of chatter in my head.

I can allow the chatter to temporarily derail my self-care. That sneaky, ever-present inner dialogue starts negotiating with me on something I’ve already determined is non-negotiable.

The easiest example of non-negotiable self-care in our society is brushing teeth. I do it. I don’t question it. I don’t argue with myself about it. 

I work out five days a week. Maybe it’s because I pay a trainer and enjoy the women I work out with – we laugh and, yes, sometimes cuss. The combination of health benefits, accountability, and laughter is a win-win for me. This part of my non-negotiable self-care is going well.

I'll admit that choosing healthy food when my pantry is bare is a challenge for me. I choose to avoid the simple task of grocery shopping to fill my pantry with good-for-me groceries. Otherwise, my home is my oasis - peaceful, serene, warm and love-filled. 

DO YOU EVER STRUGGLE WITH CHOOSING HEALTHY VS. ANYTHING-OTHER-THAN-HEALTHY?

When we choose the Anything-Other-Than-Healthy option, the choice to self-sabotage likely started long before. (I know. Ouch.)

When I take a break from my self-care, it's too easy to self-sabotage my way to not feeling good about myself and my choices. Healthy eating is just one of the behaviors women use to derail their promise to take care of themselves. Because so many of you can relate to this - I'll use food as my example.

Here’s how one morning went for me. I’d already had some coffee, done some meditation reading, watered plants, cleaned the kitty room, taken out the trash, worked out and been to the drug store. Next up for Monday morning self-care: grocery shopping. I was literally across the street from the grocery store – looking at it.

HOWEVER, that morning I was exhausted. I’d had a fun and action-packed weekend. I had a work project due that day and a coaching program starting that night. I needed to feel rested, sharp, healthy, clear-minded and energetic. I DIDN'T. So, that morning, grocery shopping overrode the non-negotiable decisions I’d already made. This was the chatter for the two minute ride between home and the store.

It’s Monday – a new week. Time to stop all the extra food I enjoyed last week and over my super fun weekend. Time to settle in and stop the stuff I know doesn’t make me feel good. I’m ready for my choices to be all good for me, inside and out. 

Okay but when do I go to the grocery store? I need to get to work. No time to shop. I can always get lunch and dinner delivered (I’ll even include tomorrow’s lunch order to save on delivery fees), even though it’s full of salt and costs a fortune. 

Right, no delivery today. If I want to eat well today, I will grocery shop. I have the shopping list with me – just pull in. There’s the store. Just take a right. No, not a left. 

Well, I need to get to work. I’m already behind because I didn’t work yesterday (Sunday). And I’ll finish Coffee & Contemplation, which is an important non-negotiable for me. I’ll drink more coffee while I write in my Gratitude Journal. See? I’d best go on home and get that done – and get to work. Surely there is something I can rustle up for lunch… 

Self-care is an everyday thing - not something to vacation from. One way or another (healthy vs. anything-other-than-healthy), it's 24/7, 365 days a year because you are 24/7, 365 days a year.

EASTON INSIGHT | Self-care is easiest when we are already in self-care.

When I’ve let my non-negotiable self-care routine slide, I'm likely to skip a proper dinner, stay up too late, snack, fall asleep on the couch, wake up exhausted, and make unhealthy choices like avoiding the act of grocery shopping. If I don’t intervene on myself or have someone who understands me like a coach or best friend, I keep letting my self-care slide until I realize I don't want to let things slide further.

HERE'S ONE WAY TO TURN IT AROUND

Write about it and process the events that led up to that moment where you've had enough overindulgence, procrastination or avoidance (or whatever it is you're doing or not doing).

We all have a self-care cycle. Are you ready to decipher yours?

• I start with a good night's sleep and go from there – 
• Feeling spiritually grounded –
• Treating my body well (including movement, food, water, laughter) –
• Feeling blessed, grateful and beautiful inside and out –
• Being of service –
• Doing work I'm passionate about –
• Loving and being loved –
• Connecting with others – 
• Having tons of fun OR working super hard with long hours on a deadline project –
• Followed by decompressing from the fun or work with TV and late night snacking –
• Falling asleep on the couch and going to bed later –
• Waking up fuzzy –
• Shaming myself for “bad” choices, blaming myself for not doing things “right,” regretting that I ate that salty crunchy “crap” –
• Followed by working out, coffee and contemplation –
• And then straight to work to double down on more intense focus -
• Pull up the food delivery app and order lunch and dinner because – 
• Don't you see? I'm just so busy. 

Notice the turn in the cycle? It can be so subtle. It can even make sense at the time. Yes, it's self-destructive. No, I'm not advocating for skipping the fun and passion.

I'm here to be authentic about how challenging self-care can be.

For my self-care to remain non-negotiable and intact, it’s essential for me to BE IN TUNE especially when I am excited about something personal or professional, when I am having a blast doing something, or when I am pouring loads of my time, energy and resources into work. These are all are triggering DECISION POINTS where I can choose to derail my non-negotiable self-care - or not. 

I know I am not the only ambitious, intentionally successful woman out there who sometimes chooses the Anything-Other-Than-Healthy option. The good news is that you can choose to change your choice at any time.

The rest of this particular story is that – I followed my own encouragement of writing and processing. And thanks to the most wonderful man who loves and supports what’s good for me – I found my usual healthy groceries in the kitchen that day. After a healthy dinner, I went to sleep on time, woke up clear-headed and feeling grateful. My day cruised along in my non-negotiable self-care lifestyle.

When you're asleep at the wheel, it is easy to choose the unhealthier of two choices. Yet, you want to be the best possible you. The payoff for self-destructive patterns no longer feeds or fools me. I don't like the discomfort and downward slide. I love me and my overall total health - physical, spiritual, emotional, relational, intellectual and financial.

The truth about self-care is that it's the path to the best you.

Where things go your way, your confidence soars, and you feel like a million bucks. Doors swing open, the sky turns bluer and the grass greener. Your smile is brighter. Pets and people come toward you because you’re authentically attractive from the inside out.

Self-care is a commitment and - of course - it takes time, energy and resources. Self-care includes more than food, exercise and brushing your teeth. We'll keep diving, ladies. There are several ways to engage with me if you'd like more information or support. Head over to my home page, www.lauraeaston.CO, to download my free 12 Unexpected Acts of Self-Care for Ambitious Women (who suck at self-care), join my Embrace Your Success & Self-Care Facebook Group, subscribe to my She Gets Me Blog, or learn about my signature framework, Achieving Authentic Success. That's where you can book a Planning Session.

I'm here for you. We’re in this together.