GIVING PRESSURE & EXPECTATION A SMACKDOWN

Are you caught up in the hustle and bustle of your career and missing big pieces from an otherwise well-rounded and healthy life?

Tired of being impatient, irritable, resentful, negative, and exhausted when you get home? Does everyone need something from you at the same time and you just want to scream, “Make it stop!”? You long for more time and yearn for something that’s missing – date night, membership at a beautiful workout facility, or a hobby.

IF YOU FEEL SERIOUS, HARD-TO-EXPLAIN PRESSURE TO OVERWORK WHILE NEGLECTING YOURSELF AND THOSE YOU LOVE – THERE MAY BE MORE AT PLAY HERE.

3 QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF

1. Where did this internalized intense pressure come from?
2. Who set the impossibly high expectation of perfection in my life?
3. Am I ready to give pressure and expectation a smackdown?

THINGS WE LEARN IN CHILDHOOD

Many of us grew up in an environment that fostered perfectionism. Under pressure to perform, it was unacceptable to drop a ball, miss a deadline, or fall short. When I met expectations, I was rewarded.

Imperfection and tardiness were punishable offenses. Punishment was paid in shame and fear. I quickly adapted to rewardable behaviors: obedience, punctuality, hard work, and perseverance.

THE WORKPLACE

With pride, I became a standard bearer. Expecting excellence from myself and others, I rarely said no to career opportunities and job demands. You could count on me to meet or exceed expectations.

I took on more than I had to, worked diligently, challenged myself, and developed my career – honestly, to the exclusion of a well-rounded and healthy life.

Our culture rewards success and achievement, and mission-driven nonprofit work. I earned a solid reputation while neglecting important relationships, self-care, and big dreams. (I do not recommend this!)

TIPPING POINT

I reached a tipping point. This was maddening at first because I thought I was enjoying the fruits of my labor and had learned that my worth, love, and acceptance came from achievement and success.

I drove myself hard right up to an edge. One more step, thing to do, or person to please – and I would SHUT DOWN. Like a light switch, I went from ON to OFF and couldn’t go another 20 yards for anything. Believe me, I tried. Feeling constantly behind, burdened, and falling short haunted me.

Thankfully, I became intolerably overwhelmed by volume, expectation, and demand. With my deepening practice of devoted self-care, I decided to give the culprits a smackdown.

Finally breaking through the limiting beliefs of WHY I felt the pressure, carried the expectations, and was driven to overdo in my career, it was time to melt the procrastination freeze and get my energy moving again.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

Do you put off or avoid doing easy things like picking up your alterations (that’ve been ready since last month), setting that annual doctor visit, returning something, or writing thank you notes?

Depending on your workstyle, upbringing, and other factors – you may identify procrastination as your problem. Your shaming inner critic may tell you how worthless and lazy you are for not “just getting shit done.”

Your response to being overloaded may be more of freeze than flight or fight. Do you get scared, stuck, bored, and hungry – and lose your self-care routine?

HERE ARE 7 TOOLS TO MELT THE PROCRASTINATION FREEZE:

1. As you recognize your freeze response, be still in your body and mind. Notice what’s going on with you. Has something triggered fear in you? Do you feel lonely with all you have on your plate?
2. Check-in to see if your limbic brain has taken over and knocked your executive functioning offline. When we are triggered, we respond in a fight or freeze.
3. Be kind and gentle with yourself. You are human.
4. Call a friend, coach, or therapist and give voice to what you’re experiencing.
5. Soak up a little sunshine by taking a walk outdoors.
6. Change your scenery. Move your home office to another room in your home – choose one with windows. Borrow a friend’s vacation home at the beach or in the country. It’s amazing how a change of scenery can shift energy.
7. Ask for help and support – this is my most important tool. When the freeze isn’t melting with the other tools, I invite someone with whom I am comfortable sharing quiet time and space to be present doing their thing while I’m making progress on my projects.

KNOW YOURSELF

I pair well in the workplace. I do my best and enjoy it most when I have someone to work with, to help me implement and launch programs, and someone to laugh with who also challenges me. We achieve big goals together – and always celebrate our wins.

What do you need to be your best self in the workplace?

NEXT STEPS

Hopefully, these tools are helpful in navigating your tendencies to work too much and live too little. If you want someone to talk with about the messages, pressure, and unrealistic expectations you learned as a kid and how that still plays out in your life today – book a call with me.

I’m a certified life coach + consultant who’s taken on that unreasonable pressure. I use the tools I offer and have more to share. Moving through blocks and limits swiftly is essential to my freedom and joy. I’d be so happy to help you with yours.