FROM POWERLESS TO PURPOSE: 12-STEP RECOVERY AND BEYOND

My burning bush experience at 26 changed me forever. I said, “God, please help me” as I was trying not to throw up after hearing a shocking secret, one that for a fleeting instant I imagined I could have been part of in one of my alcoholic blackouts.

It was a bizarre and slow-motion moment. Then time stopped.

Four years earlier, I had admitted that I was an alcoholic in front of others during family week for a sibling who was in treatment. When I returned home, I went to one meeting – it’s foggy but I think I picked up a desire chip. I never went back though and with my attitude of “I got this”, I managed to not drink for about a month.

I was fresh out of college, living in a new city (excited about my opportunity to start anew) – working 16-hour days with a great group of passionate people my age and we had one purpose: re-elect the incumbent. Life was grand!

One gorgeous day we were happy to be having an outdoor lunch in the beautiful Baltimore Harbor. After that month of not drinking – and without a thought or worry – I ordered a Meyer’s and Soda with a twist.

And then I ordered 12 more.

Thirteen drinks later, with co-workers who had never seen me drink, one of them exclaimed, “No wonder you don’t drink. It’s too expensive!” We all laughed, and I chose to ignore the fear rising up in me (you know that pit in your stomach and that heat that comes from fear and shame?).

I did not comprehend the power of that first drink: my drinking was worse than before after only 30 days of not drinking. My behavior (other than at work for which I had the utmost respect) was worse, too.

Fast forward through the next and worst four years of my addiction, and put me in the situation where I heard the shocking secret.

It turns out I was not part of the secret, but even having a flash of “What if” had knocked me to my knees. I had spent four years trying to not drink, trying to alter my behavior – all to no avail.

In that God-please-help-me-moment, I had hit bottom and admitted I was powerless. This was my burning bush experience at 26. Once I surrendered, I checked into treatment, got sober, went to a halfway house, worked the 12 steps, and committed to a life of recovery.

I felt a strong passion to be the best Laura I could be and knew my purpose was to help other professional, successful women who were committed to 12-step recovery.

I had lots of work to do on myself, which I did through 12-step programs and fellowship, therapy, counseling, and coaching. I kept diving deep and doing the work. I was determined (still am) to heal old wounds and trauma, stop being a victim, be the same as and not better or worse than others, start loving and respecting myself, feel grateful every single day, gain confidence in owning my God-given gifts and talents, and step into my power as a wise, wild, and worthy woman in recovery.

My journey from Powerless to Purpose has been wonderful, messy, tough, sad, adventurous, fulfilling, remarkable, and life on life’s terms without drinking or drugging. I have owned my decisions and consequences – good and bad – and ultimately I’ve had the courage to stop the people-pleasing and move in the direction of my north star, what I know I am meant to do!

I absolutely love helping other women who may have moved from powerless to empowered but don’t yet know their purpose – or professional women in 12-step recovery who are now ready to feel the thrill of moving beyond powerless to living in purpose.

If you’re ready to begin the journey to living your just-right life – or if you need a little help to begin your journey again – book a call and let’s talk. You got this.